My Glucose Challenge Test Results Are In And They Suck

Well, crap. Check out this miserable result:

Yesterday, after sitting in a stuffy, overcrowded lab on my only day off for an hour and hastily consuming an unpleasant, sugary solution that contained 50 g of sugar, my blood sugar results came back at a staggering 9.9 millimoles per liter – which indicates a possibility of gestational diabetes. As you can see, the normal threshold is 7.8 millimoles per litre, which I blew past at an astonishing rate.

I was hoping that my lab was simply pranking me on account of it being April Fool’s Day, but nobody is joking. As predicted, I have officially – and spectacularly, I might add – failed my initial Glucose Challenge Test (GCT).

The Bad News

Gestational diabetes is one of the most common health problems during pregnancy. According to Diabetes Canada, between three and 20 per cent of pregnant women develop gestational diabetes. This makes it one of the most common health problems during pregnancy.

THE Good NEWS

This result doesn’t necessarily mean I have GD. The GCT doesn’t diagnose the condition – rather, it is designed to identify as many women as possible who may be at risk, and who need more testing to find out for sure. According to BabyCenter, only about a third of women who test positive on the glucose screen actually have the condition.

THE BAD NEWS AGAIN

I’m going to have to take another test, called the Glucose Tolerance Test (GTT). It is a longer (two hours, sometimes three), more definitive test that will tell me for sure whether or not I have GD.

THE EVEN WORSE NEWS

This follow-up test will be the literal worst. It will involve getting blood drawn to establish a baseline, then drinking yet another sugary mixture, containing either 75 g or 100 g of glucose, depending on the length of the test. My blood will then be tested again one, two, and sometimes even three hours after drinking the sugary drink.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go sob into a bowl of oatmeal, BECAUSE THAT’S ALL I CAN EAT NOW.